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Thursday, August 27, 2009

"Black Hair" and White Folks

I don't care to discuss "black hair" anymore with most people but most especially white folks because I really don't see the point. If I'm not giving hair care tips to you for your own use or for use on your child with "black hair" there is no point in having the discussion. White folks being educated on the ins-and-outs of "black hair" does not rate for me because it is usually based on a dumb ass "why does her hair look like that" premise.

The NY Times has published an article about "black hair" written by Catherine St Louis
and it pissed me off as most discussions about "black hair" with white folks do. (Now, I am assuming that she is writing about coarse "black hair" --the hair so many white folks are bothered by-- because I know that in doing her abundant research for this article she learned that not all "black hair" is the same, right)

Anywho... If you are thinking that the NY Times' attention to "black hair" is prolific in a way that helps the unnecessary discussion in America about "black hair" then don't because you will be sadly disappointed.

SILKY straight hair has long been considered by many black women to be their crowning glory. So what if getting that look meant enduring the itchy burning that’s a hallmark of many chemical straighteners. Or a pricey dependence on “creamy crack,” as relaxers are sometimes jokingly called.

Getting “good hair” often means transforming one’s tightly coiled roots; but it is also more freighted, for many African-American women and some men, than simply a choice about grooming. Straightening hair has been perceived as a way to be more acceptable to certain relatives, as well as to the white establishment.

See told ya.

Well I guess my hope that she had done the research for her article bit the dust in the first sentence. She has confused the westernized European ideals that were inflicted on our African ancestors during slavery--traveling down from generation to generation as self hatred--with the choices of all black women of today. Not all black women desire "silky straight" hair as our "crowning glory" because we are not...ALL THE SAME. See this is exactly why I don't like discussing this subject...because just like discussing racism against Black people for the color of our skin--discussing the texture of "black hair" falls in the same category.

True...in the mainstream that is still controlled by white folks in our lovely white supremacist society there are still many that make what is considered the easier choice (whatever that means) for professional reasons to straighten their hair. Now, that is a discussion to be had in regards to the hoops that people from other ethnic groups (non-white) are expected to jump through to accommodate white sensibilities. Well for some of you'll. ;) I don't do that.


News Flash: Black women are not the only ones that straighten their hair yet we are the ones that continue to get negativity about it.

Wooh, ever since Malia Obama was photographed overseas with her hair in beautiful twists the discussion of the "acceptableness" of certain "black hair" styles has reached fever pitch at different times in the mainstream as well as certain conservative race-baiting, bottom-feeding blogs.
You would think that the overseas trip was the first time that Malia wore her hair in twists but it wasn't because she has worn her hair the same way periodically as you can see here, here and here.

For the record we are now in the 21st century and although there may be some Black people that still have hangups regarding "black hair" we are women who like variety in style just like any other race of woman. There is no race of woman in this world that has an "easy" time with their hair or hairstyles because if that were true there would not be a multi-billion dollar industry devoted to hair care.

The following are my parting words to white folks regarding "black hair":

  • If you like the hairstyle that you see then give a compliment those are welcomed
  • If you don't like what you see then keep your mouth shut because that is best
  • If you don't understand the variety of "black" hairstyles it's okay because we don't care
  • If you want to understand black hairstyles for pure curiosity then get a book.
  • If you think that Black people have to be like you to be "acceptable" then get a life
How do you'll feel about the continual discussion about "black hair" which mainly seems to be directed at women but I want to hear from the men as well?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Microsoft Promotes Racism!

Does Microsoft's apology for promoting racism mean that they are not racist and had no intention of implying that they were when they chose to photoshop an advertisement to remove a black man's face?


If they hadn't gotten busted when they carelessly forgot to photoshop the hand would there be any acknowledgment of this error in judgment? Does issuing the apology mean that they feel they did something wrong or was it just protocol? Do they photoshop out black people in all of their adds that go to other countries? What other companies do the same thing? So many questions!

To be continued...

Monday, August 24, 2009

Black Women Are Helpmates (If We Choose) Never Doormats!



Race DOES NOT relegate black women to expect less (than any other race of woman) in life!

If you look at some of the articles and blogs here, here and here
you would think that we should. (HT to One Chele @ Black 'n Bougie) The black woman's image and character has been so tragically maligned since slavery that a majority of the world feels as if it has the right to label black women as 'less than' so therefore we should want and expect less. What??? I say HELL NO!

Ironically, all women suffer from the same patriarchal 'women are here for our pleasure' society but black women are the most brutalized by it.
We have our character assassinated and our bodies objectified and critiqued (by a European standard) on a daily basis in both mainstream society and by black men. This type of treatment is only meant to create insecurity and vulnerability thus making us pliable to ensure culpability with any disrespectful agenda that the mainstream and obviously even some black men dictate. Our varied skin color(s) adds an extra level to the degradation that is inflicted upon us by both society and ourselves. Wouldn't the plantation owners be proud?

This world operates on the premise that men should control everything and therefore they have been allowed to set the standards of what is apropos when it comes to the way women are treated in society.
Too many black men believe that black women are just for them to do with as they please and it has destroyed the relationship between black men and black women. In this world, the way the women in a racial group are treated by it's men undoubtedly affects the way that another racial group treats and views them. This is NOT a male bashing post and no I don't think that all men subscribe to this behavior but these are dire times so even one is too many. There is no way in hell that the mainstream would continue treating black women with such contempt and disrespect if black men stood alongside black woman and said enough and started leading by example.

Families being destroyed during slavery created households headed by women that were left with no choice but to find a way to make it in spite of the circumstances. That dynamic generated a strength that has endured in the black culture and no black woman should be ashamed of it. Strength has allowed us to encourage perseverance while enduring the hardships. An education allows all of us the opportunity for better lives and self and black women are no different. Black women want what any woman would want if we choose to share our life with a man--love, family, security and respect. A level of expectation means that you are not willing to accept less than what you think you deserve and there is not a damn thing wrong with black women having that.

Black women and black men need to figure out a way to come together and rebuild a relationship of respect that is rock solid and untouchable. What do you'll think?



Friday, August 21, 2009

Deck Still Stacked Against Blacks in TV and Film

There is a disturbing realization that no one can deny...the professional opportunities and the portrayal and perception of black people on television and in film has not gotten better it has gotten horrendously worse!

When watching television or looking for new films you would think that we are in the 1960's or 1970's. There is still the sporadic placement of black characters that are as one-dimensional and as "white person centralized" as ever or the opposite which is the desperate, down-ridden, drug laden, single, motherless or fatherless representation that white people love to portray of black people onscreen.


Why are there no strong, intelligent black father figures on TV? Why do the mothers (in Good Times and the defunct That's My Mama, for example) always seem to be fat? (The famous black matriarchy? Some residual white image of Mammy? Of Aunt Jemima?) Why are black families so often shown to be in screaming turmoil, the air bruised with insults? Why are there not black images of success through education and accomplishment, instead of the old Amos 'n' Andy routines of chicanery or the newer, grittier pimp-flash and hustle?
As you can tell from the shows listed in the above excerpt from this article was written a while ago but is completely relevant today because we are STILL dealing with the same disparity in 2009 people and that article was written thirty years ago. Nothing has changed because currently there are NO shows on network television that completely represents the fullness of black people and our families. Surprised...I am not. Yet again, black people have become lackadaisical and apparently think that white people care about their being equity in THEIR TELEVISION and FILM INDUSTRY. I emphasize the television and film industry as "theirs" because they control the money which means they control the outcome BUT they are controlling these industries with black dollars.

Why must we always try to be 'a part of' at any cost???
There are still too many black people gladly throwing their--let me be a part of, choose me, I'm worthy--dollars towards an industry that displays a pervasive and overt amount of racism against black people.

Say what you will about Tyler Perry but he realized that OWNING his work was important
and had no intention of giving up control of his work! He went to get funding from the same place everyone goes but "they" turned him down and belittled the black community's value to their industry. He made his film himself and it was a monetary success and as usual the white man came running. "They" came to Tyler Perry and he negotiated on his terms. BLACK PEOPLE...we know this...too many of us had to learn it the hard way so why must we continue to not learn from the history. I can't be the only one that is disturbed by the fact that there is no real black presence in recently released or yet to be released films.

Remember when Prince became a symbol in protest and in making his point of not continuing to be controlled by the music company owners he performed with the word SLAVE written on the side of his face and made sure that the words were positioned to be viewed by cameras throughout the performance.

Aaaah...blunt and direct; no pretense...I like it.

What will it take for black people to realize that "the industry" could care less about accuracy or equity in the portrayal of or the writing for black people and make the choice to opt out?!


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Here We Go Again...

The "privileged white" get on my damn nerves! Anytime there is a person with brown skin that does exceptionally well they have to change the rules.


Caster Semenya is an 18 year old from South Africa who won Gold for the women's 800 meters in Berlin Germany. She has been ordered by the International Association of Athletics Federation to undergo sex-determination testing...yes you read correctly.

It seems to me that BEFORE you allow someone to compete that you would know that everyone participating have met all of the requirements to compete. The IAAF wait until AFTER she kicks ass on the track to question whether she is male or female?!
Is this something that all participants must do...you ask... NO it isn't. It isn't fair but really is ever when the "privileged white" are involved.

So if the IAAF's criteria for this testing has to do with the aesthetic then they need to be a checkin' a lot more athletes on both the men's and women's teams!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Racist Intuition


There are many things that black people have to be prepared for when going into the world to make a life for ourselves. In our youth black people don't have the luxury (like the privileged white) of just learning our ABC's or to feed ourselves or to tie our shoes. Unfortunately there does come a certain time when parents have to talk to their children about people being mean to them because of their skin color. Parents do a great deal from infancy to graduation for their kids but black parents have to do so much more to ensure that their children have an extra shield of armor that I call racist intuition.

Racist Intuition is a necessary ability and i
t takes years to develop the racial intuition black people need to truly handle racism which is why preparation starts in childhood. Like self defense training...you train--you kick ass--you ask questions! Black people DO NOT need white people to be in agreement for us to acknowledge that racists are in our midst or that racism has taken place against us. We know what it is when we see it because we've lived a good majority of our lives dealing with it. Not calling racism out is what racists hope for because that gives them the ability to be more insidious with their efforts.

As a black parent, you pray that you can give your children enough information that will get them through elementary school but not so much that they don't get to experience being just kids. Black parents have to constantly augment the amount of information given as necessary to protect their children through high school and beyond to hopefully ensure that the "real world" holds no mystery for them when confronted with racism. We have to take it step by step otherwise you risk overwhelming your child in a way that makes them less prepared to be aware. No rose colored glasses for black children..uh-uh... they have to be prepared.

I am speaking as a parent that had to prepare my child and preparation began in elementary and now there are new challenges now that she is in Jr. High School . It does make me angry that there was a need to prepare my daughter for it...but it had to be done.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Seriously...Love Me or Leave Me Alone!


Black Man...it ISN'T that serious anymore!

Hallelujah...We live in a multicultural world that affords us ALL an opportunity to be with whomever we choose. Just don't try to destroy black women on your way out the door because burning bridges with a community of women that bore you, nurtured you and supported you ain't the way to do it.

Regardless of what the mainstream society may tell you subliminally (or these days down right blatantly) there is no need to put black women down to be better in your life. Doing that is seriously considered slave mentality thinking when you think you have to spit on your own race in order to move up and be accepted in this world. GOD put us all here so that automatically affords us the right to go anywhere and be anything we want in this world. Our ancestors worked hard for our civil rights and black women having to contend with "others" demeaning and maligning us is one thing that we are used to having to fight against but being demeaned and maligned by black men in this society is completely reprehensible. Sorry fellas, no excuse is acceptable

Now before anyone responds about this post being about bashing black men in any way...it is not! This post is about calling on our better selves to do right by each other. We have been through alot together and there is no way we move forward without each other as anchors. I LOVE black men (MEN being the operative word) but there are too many out there that are not standing up for what is right when it comes to the way black women are portrayed or treated by them and others.

So many people are always speaking about black women being so strong and direct when it comes to what we expect for ourselves and from those in our lives but that is a part of our history. It was the only way to keep our families solid. BLACK MEN...you can't have us as your shoulder and your backbone and then expect for us to be less than diligent in ensuring we don't accept less from anyone, most especially you. There is no need for the disdain or animosity towards black women because BLACK WOMEN as I see it...have made this world work for us all not just for ourselves!


Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Truth Shall Set Us Free

I was sitting here today flipping channels watching various talking heads and the Chris Matthews show (well actually the show description) caught my attention. Chris Matthews and his panel of guests would be discussing: "Who is responsible for the heated rhetoric over President Obama's ethnicity?". There was not one black person on the panel!

When President Obama was elected MSM (yes Matthews included) was discussing whether black people could be expected to be objective when interviewing Obama or reporting on the Obama administration...but there can be a panel of "white" people discussing where responsibility lies for racist comments from racist "white" people regarding Obama's ethnicity objectively. Talking about a double standard of ridiculousness.


I watch black journalists on television discussing different issues and the issue of race always brings about this certain dance that a majority of black people know all too well when you have to balance you "real" self with your "corporate" self. (Full disclosure: I have always had great difficulty with that myself) Having to bite your tongue when a white person says something presumptuous, privileged or just ridiculously rude and still maintain a sense of decorum is damn hard. Just imagine the freedom in a world where black people didn't feel the need to do that.

Well, it actually exists right now but I think so many us behave as if we are still beholding to the "white man" for our existence like we are still on the plantation. Our ancestors were always thinking about what was most important and that was making it possible for themselves to make it as far as they could go in the world so that their children and their grandchildren and so on could go further. We have fallen down on our J-O-B! Just look at the state of our children, our churches and our communities. It is a disgrace.
What happened to the enterprising and self reliant nature of our people.

Ugh... let's say what we mean and mean what we say. Sometimes there is just so much pretense when we are speaking out against anything that has to be done with righting wrongs... and for what. I hate pretense. Pretense is only necessary when you care about making white people comfortable about not addressing the ugly history of America and all that evolved from it. I could care less about making them comfortable.

There is not one white person feeling any sense of apprehensiveness about reaping the entitlement and privilege that they are automatically afforded by being born with white skin. Whether they are against "white privilege" or not they still readily welcome reaping the benefits of it. How do I know? Ask a white person if they want to wake up black and you will get a look as if you had two heads. White supremacy has scarred America in ways that black people still suffer under and we still have black people helping it to continue.

How sad it is that the organizations that were formed to ensure that black rights were always defended are shells now or should I say shell games!


Saturday, August 8, 2009

Dark skin is always in!

It is still amazing to me how a black person can write something about black people and have very little regard for black people. Mr. Brown (yes, that really is his last name) is unfortunately one of the clueless as proven by his post on Michelle Obama: "Michelle Obama's dark skin inspires women of color all of the world". (You can link to the article below) The best thing about his post is the title and then it goes down hill from there as it spirals into a convoluted mess of back-handed compliments, racial stereotyping and the author referring to the First Lady as a worthy possession. Yes, Mr. Brown has definitely taken us backwards a couple hundred years at least!

For many years main stream media has ignored dark skinned women as a symbol of beauty. (...) Her world wide appeal as a women of color who has brains and confidence is an inspiration not only to black women but Indian , Asian ,and Hispanic.

There have always been black women with brains and confidence in the world and the First Lady is one of many that make us all proud! I can agree with Mr. Brown on the fact that "mainstream society" has been missing out on the wonderful truth that black women are beautiful in all shades of brown!

Dark skin women are in because of Michelle Obama, it's more socially acceptable now for a white man to want to go out with a dark skinned sister and not be paranoid about other peoples perceptions of skin color.

WTH...Is Mr. Brown being a pimp for the white man or something for us "darkies"? Mr. Brown surely could not be implying that dark skin women have never been desired by the white man whether it was considered socially acceptable or not in our white supremacist society. I shouldn't have to point out well over 400 hundred years of history in these "United" States of America that would say otherwise. For the record, paranoia and and a sense of entitlement is the foundation of white supremacy in America and we don't need you helping it out!

In India were dark skin is still frowned upon many Indian women look at Michele Obama as a role model and inspire hope for dark skinned women in India who have historically been under represented in marriages to upwardly mobile men. People are actually starting to form images in their head of the ideal trophy wife and guess what? that image is not as fair skinned as she used to be since Michelle came along. I find myself day dreaming about meeting a tall ,strong,dark skinned women like Michelle Obama because she is the new sexy. She is fresh and something new that men want to possess out of curiosity and partly out of excitement in engaging in previously taboo social interaction.

I know...I know... now you further understand why I think his post is completely ridiculous and just a convoluted mess. This post has one stupid thought process after another. Trophy wife??? Since when is a beautiful, intelligent and accomplished woman considered a trophy. I have to say that Mr. Brown disappoints me because he should know better but nooooo... he proceeds to basically turn the First Lady into an exotic sexual plaything to be possessed by a man in the very next sentence! A BLACK man equating a BLACK woman with being exotic as if we are "other". Well, all I can say is that with black men like you having our back black women definitely don't need anymore enemies.

The only thing left for Michelle Obama to do is wear her hair natural ,braids,afro,or one of several other popular styles and she will have flipped all those old social phobias on their head.(...) Do dark skinned women feel they have to perm and process their hair to get it as straight as possible like white womens hair for fear of a nap becoming a painful reminder of their African roots? (...) Her oldest daughter Malia likes to wear her hair natural and she looks very cute with that style,not fake and processed like she does when she perms it , but the difference is Malia Obama is a few shades lighter then her mother and this maybe why she can pull off this style without threatening the status quo,am I making any sense?

Okay I can say this without feeling any since of guilt...Mr. Brown is an IDIOT. Not all black women have kinky hair AND not all white women have straight hair. Since when, in the 21st century, does only darker skin equate to having kinky hair. Black women are always being unnecessarily scrutinized for wearing a variety of hairstyles in American society more than any other race of woman in America. In today's world, hairstyles are an individual's choice that has more to do with personal preference and also hair being used as an accessory. Mr. Brown obviously doesn't realize that there are women of all races that choose to go from curly to straight and from straight to curly everyday! The natural state of "black hair" in today's world means many different things and it has nothing to do with the shade of skin.


In this alleged new era of racial enlightenment, how would we see Michelle if she switched to braids, twists, curls or dreads, if she looked more like the black person she is? We applaud the sparkling new role models in the White House. But do we expect the Obamas to define a new black mainstream or to hew to an idealized model created by a white mainstream that blacks internalized long ago?
Yet another unnecessary statement that assumes that a black woman wearing her hair straight is not being who she really is. When he sees a white woman walking around with tightly coiled hair I wonder if he feels she is not being white. Mr. Brown is asking an awful lot of a hairstyle when he thinks it can have anything to do racial enlightenment and defining a "new" black mainstream. It's just hair...whether it is straight or not!

Wooh... I could go on about Mr. Brown's misguided post on the First Lady but my fingers are tired. Read the rest of his post (here).

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

POC (People of Color): What's it all about?


I know that this is a yet another term that is supposed to be more unifying and more politically correct but I don't know how I feel about it and I have been thinking about this for a while. Why are we always labeled in some way that no matter what words are used it still says "other".

Person of Color (plural: people of color) is a term used, primarily in the United States to describe all people who are not white. The term is meant to be inclusive, emphasizing common experiences of racism People of color is preferred to both non-white and minority, which are also inclusive, because it frames the subject positively; non-white defines people in terms of what they are not (white), and minority, by its very definition, places the subject in a subordinate position. "Person of color" has a positive connotation and has often been preferred by people of color in the US. (Wikipedia)

This terminology is used because it is considered to be preferred by "people of color" in the US...I don't remember getting a vote. I'm not saying that the word choice is necessarily a "bad" thing but I am questioning why it is necessary at all. It still references classifying "white people" as the norm and everyone else as "other". Think about it...if everyone else is classified as "people of color" then what are white people considered.."clear". I could accept the term "people of color" if it includes us all
.

Being "Brown" is not a bad thing which is proven in society everyday. A majority of white people in this world go out of their way everyday risking their lives tanning in the sun and in tanning beds just to be a shade of brown. The cosmetics industry is making millions every year from "bronzing" products so that white people can feel better about their looks by being a shade of brown. Make no mistake about it...bronzing aka browning products were not created for Blacks, Hispanics, Arabs, Native Americans or Asians.

White supremacy has operated under the belief that white people have a higher level of worth in relation to black people simply based on levels of melanin in the skin for far too long when scientifically speaking we are ALL just shades of brown!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

G.I.R.L.S. 1st

This world...this world...this world we live in today is trying to destroy women...especially black women...and judging from what I am witnessing in my community and on television they are doing a great job and quickly! What does it take for black women to wake up??? We are the only ones that can save ourselves.

I am on a mission and I am starting close to home by speaking openly and honestly with my teenage daughter. She and I have always had a close relationship and although these teenage years can be trying, I consider it an honor to ensure that she grows up feeling every confidence about her self worth so that she will never allow the world to define who she is...only she will do that. It is difficult with all the outside influences but not impossible to instill in my daughter the need to show respect for herself in EVERYTHING that she does because then she will never allow ANYONE to disrespect her because she has standards. Standards... such a lost significance in today's world.

Let me start at the beginning of my journey in motherhood. I knew with everything in me that I wanted to raise a little girl and I was blessed with her in 1996. The desire to have a girl came from many things in my life but growing up with a mother that was from a generation that really didn't talk openly and honestly about everything was a great factor as well. She did the best that she could but didn't prepare me for everything that comes along with being born female in this world and what that means in relation to self-awareness and the necessity to NOT define yourself based on the world or based on men.

Granted my Mom talked to me about the classic things that come along with becoming a young lady like having a period-- how to take care of my hygiene-- how to dress and sit like a lady--etc. But what about everything else that comes along with the changes to my body such as dealing with the hormones, the sex talk and also the insecurity of appearance, emotions and self confidence. The thought of my mother having to talk to me about sex for instance could be equated to...my mother literally having an out of body experience that brought her back at a point in which the question about sex had never been asked. Talking in any depth about the other areas I mentioned for my mother was a non-issue because she thought it was a given that I wasn't insecure because she thought I knew I was beautiful, a wonderful human being and emotionally mature and self-assured. We have to be the foundation of telling our girls (yelling it) that they matter and that they have great worth in this world.

So...with my daughter I vowed that I would talk to her openly about anything that I thought she should know about herself and the world in age appropriate terms--and I am proud to say that I have continued to do so. No euphemisms were used for the body parts of females or males; no shying away when asked where babies come from and even the hard hitting self reflecting questions about why Mommy and Daddy were never married and are no longer a couple. Yep, all of it is coming my way and even though it may be painful on my part I do what I need to do to give her the truth so that she doesn't walk around in a land of make believe...which leads me to ... fairy tales.

I know that for little girls fairy tales are seen as a good thing. As a black mother, for my little girl I didn't see it that way. It bothered me that none of these books represented my beautiful little black child's image in their illustrations. I decided to say no to Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel and a good many others because I made it a priority to try and ensure that my child grew up seeing herself as a primary and intricate part of this world. We discussed the fact that she didn't know what her friends were talking about when they would mention the aforementioned fairy tales and she was not introduced to any of them until she was about 10 years of age at her first sleepover. I was okay with her viewing the movies at that time because she was already rooted in the beauty of her internal and external reflection.

I speak on all this because we adult women have to take an active part in ensuring that we speak up and talk to the young girls and unfortunately some adult women who treat themselves with little to no respect. Teenage years are tough when raising kids whether they are boys or girls but I think it is more difficult on girls, especially black girls! Black women need to always speak up about the beauty of being a black woman and speak out against the deplorable representations and behaviors of some of us that are sent out around the world. That means that even when black men speak about us or treat us in a derogatory manner they need to be called out on it...it isn't right. We are the trees that bear the fruit of the future and we should take pride in that and act accordingly. Raise your standards...settling is not an option. There is a war going on against us and we need to prepare for battle by-- Getting. It. Right. Loving. Self. First!

Respectfully Black,



Black Butterfly